Sick Week for Robin
by Links6
Summary: Well.. this is the week when Robin is sick while on duty with Batman. sick!Robin worried!awesome!daddy!Bats/ caring!... Joker? Huh?
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: I don't own Batman, Robin or the Joker. They belong to their respective owners and creators._

_AN1: This takes place in the Pre- Teen Titans era. About two... maybe four years after Bruce took Richard in._

_AN2: Joker's the more not-completely-psychotic version in this fic. Still evil, but more fun :)_

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Ever wondered how Robin's week would be if he got sick? Well... this is how it started...

_**Sick Week for Robin**_

"Aww, it's no fun beating up a sleepy guy!" Joker lowered the crowbar and stared at Robin.

"ROBIN!" Batman yelled, knocking over the thug he's been wrestling with for the past minute. He raced over, pile-driving the Joker into the ground for good measure, before kneeling down beside him.

Only, Robin's not so much unconscious, as sleepy. Not a scratch on the boy and he's seriously _sleeping. _Snoring, at that.

The Joker, finally sat up and rubbed his head, "What's the matter, Bat-Brains, I didn't even touch him," he growled and stared at the pair for a minute, "I have principles, you know."

The double meaning of what the Joker just uttered hit Batman like a baton. He glared at the guy, but the Clown Prince of Crime just stared innocently back. He shoo'd his henchmen away when they finally mustered enough courage to come forwards.

"What?" Joker said, finally sitting back and propping himself up on his arms, "Something in my teeth?"

Batman finally turned back to his side-kick and took off his glove, he tested the boy's temperature and frowned when the result _wasn't _good. He put the glove back on and shook Robin's shoulder, "Robin, get up," he muttered.

"_Just five more… minutes…_" was the reply Batman got from Robin.

"Shall we pick this up later in the week?" Joker said and stood up, "It's no fun fighting when there's no intention behind it. You might as well let Wonder Boy sleep it off, he's not at all as much fun when he's got a cold."

"A cold?"

"…You didn't get a downpour of green mucus on you?" Joker asked and showed the _evidence _in his green hair, "I never thought you trained your apprentices to fight dirty."

Batman _was _about to tell him that he couldn't actually tell the difference between either… but if Joker was going to give the pair of them a clean pass for now, he'd rather not risk losing it –for now. So, he just opts to answer the latter statement, "N_o, _Robin doesn't fight dirty."

A sudden sneeze erupted from Robin, finally waking him up. "Ugh… my head…"

"Finally woke up, Bird Boy!" Joker laughed.

Robin, still groggy, stumbled back and patted his suit down for a stun gun or mace, "J-J-Joke- Aah-" and the shriek was completely drowned out by one heck of a sneeze.

"Calm down," strangely enough hearing Bruce's gruff voice _did _calm the young man down.

"You need a ride back to your mansion?" the Joker grinned at Robin's reaction, "I don't mind playing Dad's Taxi if it's on the way to that little Thai restaurant in Gotham."

Of course the Joker knows where Bruce Wayne – err, Batman- lives. It's hard _not _to know where The Prince of Gotham lives. Even Selena Kyle knows. Both of the villains had been there before, on separate occasions, of course. Maybe together, once, but that doesn't really count –since both of them were actually under a sort of 'house-arrest' in Bruce's bat-cave.

The one time was actually a bit awkward. Bruce doesn't mind looking after Richard when the boy's sick… but getting sick himself? Not so much.

It happened a couple of months before Richard Grayson even joined Bruce, The Joker showed up on Bruce's doorstep after the Dark Knight failed to show up at any of the Joker's "Parties" for two weeks straight. The clown even had the audacity to be offended by the Bat's absenteeism.

But, that was then, and this was now. Batman had a partner now and Richard was the best partner he could've asked for. And right now, Bruce knew he had to look after Richard now, and not as a partner or boss – but as a friend and a father.

Robin coughed a few times and rubbed his head again, kind of hoping to erase the image of both Joker and Bruce looking at him with concern (or, at least, as much of concern that can show through a mask or make-up), "I'm dreaming, right? _Please, _tell me I'm dreaming! I've got to be really sick if you're both looking at me like _that!_"

The Joker shook his head at the sight of the sick boy, "Oh fine! Twist my arm some more, would you! My van is-"

"- at the southwest exit. I know," Batman finished for him.

"It's no fun when there's no mystery," The Joker insisted and licked his lips.

Robin sat up, yawned loudly, "I've _got _to be dreaming…"

"I could knock him out, save you time?" Joker said and lifted his crowbar for effect.

An electrified bat-arang showed the Clown just how _amusing _that was for the Bat. The crowbar flew out of the Joker's hand and left the guy's arm hanging limply by his side. But before the Dark Knight could even say anything, the other jumped in.

"-Oh, Batsy, you know I'm just kidding!" the villain said and rubbed his arm with a chuckle, "How am I supposed to play Massive Effect with a limp noodle?" and shook his shoulder, letting his arm flail around limply for effect.

Another coughing fit finally made up the Batman's mind for him, "Let's go home."

Robin staggered to his feet, blinking as if he'd just woken up –which he did, "H-home?"

"Can I come visit?" Joker grinned and adjusted his suit, "I'll even get my tux dry-cleaned".

"No." Batman said and finally slipped an arm under Robin's shoulders to support him.

"Party-pooper, I'll even bring some chicken soup… unless he's a vegetarian…" The Joker said and grinned, "Then I'll bring some beef soup instead."

Both Batman and Robin finally walked off in a serene silence, because, well… the knock-out gas will work even on the toughest of criminals when the canisters are dropped at their feet.

Bruce knows tomorrow will be worse, but at least now, he's ready for it.

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_**Thanks for reading!**_

_Please drop me a review or a comment if you liked it! I really love it when I get one, reviews always inspire me and remind me to keep writing on!_


	2. Evidence is snot the problem

_Disclaimer: I still don't own Batman, Robin, Superman OR any other DC comic superhero... or city xDD_

AJCrane; Glimare; Arrows the Wolf; ShrimpyJess97; Anonymous17 and MyBatBoys... you guys gave me the best reviews! Thank you so much! It really got me inspired to continue this! HUGS!

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**_Evidence is snot the problem_**

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The Batmobile starts-up with a roar, but Robin's already asleep. He's resting his forehead on the window, completely curled on his side. From the fog forming on the window from the spot where Robin's resting his forehead, Bruce's confirms his suspicion of a temperature.

The Bat finally reaches over and reclines the boy's chair for him, no sense in him sleeping upright like that, he'll be stiff by the time they get home.

"Heyyy sexy lady!"

For a second the Batmobile swerves dangerously and almost hits two taxi's in the oncoming lane. "WHA-"

"Shh! Do you want to wake him up?" the damned green-haired villain says and 'tsks' the cowl-covered hero.

Of course, Bruce knows, but he still has to ask: "What are you doing here?!"

"Keep your voice down," Joker says and rests his elbows on the head-rests of the two chairs in front of him, "Look, toots. Your alto… It's a really relaxing d-minor and all… but really, if the boy wakes up now we won't be able to watch Paranormal Activities tonight."

It's like even the mention of thrillers set Robin on edge, the boy fidgets in his seat for a few seconds before suddenly sneezing.

Alright… maybe it wasn't the _thrillers _that set Robin on edge, but still…

Bruce thinks back to the last time Richard watched any type of thriller movie. The poor boy was too scared to sleep in his room for weeks and ended up sleeping in the lounge. With the lights on. All night.

Let's face it. Bruce Wayne is a nocturnal human. He _lives _for the night. He _likes _the dark. He felt like his eyelids were friggen glued open during those few weeks. Bruce Wayne does not appreciate a night light.

"We're not watching any movies. And you're definitely not coming with us," Batman scowls.

"What? You got an ejector seat rigged in the backseat or something?" the Joker said and quirks an eyebrow.

"Yes…" Bruce said, but he doesn't use it, not unless he wants Robin to be scared out of his mind by the loud noise the ejector seat makes.

"You're such a joker!" the green-haired assailant said and grinned at the double-meaning again.

"I do have a stun gun on me," Batman snaps and slows the Batmobile to the side of the road, "How did you get in here, anyway?"

"If I tell you, you'll just seal it off for next time I decide to drop in," the Joker said and nodded to himself.

"It's the hatch near the engine, right?" Bats concluded to himself and was only affirmed by the Joker's next comment.

"Damn! What tipped me off!?"

The Batmobile's top slid off, "_Get out_," Bruce said and made sure to tug Robin's cape further over the boy's form to keep out the night chill.

"That's what she said..."

"That's what I'M SAYING!"

"That's so incredibly kinky..."

"Get out. _Now._"

"Fine, fine, fine… sheesh…" the Joker finally got out and straightened out his jacket and started talking to himself, "You act all gentlemanly, offer to provide them with entertainment for the night and what do you get?"

And the tread-marks the Batmobile left behind let the Joker know exactly _"what you get"._

The green-haired man watched for a minute how the Batmobile made its way downtown before he frowned, "You could've at least let me finish!"

Bruce didn't circle-back though, he just drove them back to the cave and finally called Alfred in to help him out with Robin.

"Poor boy, when did he get sick?" Alfred asks and holds his hand to Richard's forehead.

"Basically when we were fighting the Joker…" Bruce says and shrugs, "You think it's serious?"

"With you-" Alfred motioned to the pair of the for effect, "It's always serious… but nothing I'm not used to handling…"

"Alfred?" Robin blinks tiredly and takes a deep breath before smiling, "You're up late…"

Alfred tilts his head and looks back at Bruce, "I'm sure some hot lemon and honey tea and a good night's rest will do him good?"

"I'll get him upstairs…" Bruce said and had to duck behind his cowl to stop himself from being pelted by green _gross-ness. _

At least Richard had the civility to excuse himself. "Sorry, Bruce, I totally messed up…"

Batman stares at his green splattered cape and looks expectantly at Richard.

"I said I'm s-shh-sssAACCCHHH-" and this time, the green splatter on Bruce's cape got a second layer. "I'm so sorry! I really wasn't on purpose…. But you really look good in green though, it really brings out your inner machismo!"

"Indeed," Alfred quips as he reaches the top of the stairs, "Once the tea is ready I'll bring it Master Grayson's room…"

Bruce was about to help Richard Dick Grayson out of the Batmobile, but then -

The noise slapped Bruce to the chest and managed to get him to flinch at the boom. "GEE-ZZ" the double spasm in his hands –which were instinctively reaching for weapons too far away at the moment. Fortunately, being trained in Ninjustsu has many benefits. For one, it helps dampen your reaction when a supernatural entity breaks the sound barrier just about your mansion, "Circle around again, I'm not sure Robin heard you the first time."

For a second it actually looked like Clark would, but then he recognized the sarcasm in there, "Oh haha, very funny," Superman stares at the duo for a few moments before frowning, "Robin… you look terrible…"

"No, it's _s'not _a problem… heheh, get it?" at least Richard still got his humour intact, "Get it? _SNOT?! Hahahah!_"

_"Is he sick?"_

"He's not normally like this," Bruce conceded and shook his head, "He got sick while we were fighting the Joker… he might've gotten sick even before that".

"It looks like it… he's sporting a good fever by the looks of it," Superman says and pauses for a moment before turning back to Batman with a frown, "The Joker?"

"Yeah, after he saw Robin was sick… he let him go…"

"Wait a minute… Richard's sick and the Joker just let him go_? Just like that?"_

"Hmm"

"Doesn't anybody else get a creepy vibe from that?" Richard finally pipes up and grins sleepily.

"Robin, get upstairs… Alfred should be done with tea by now," Bruce says when Clark holds up a couple of investigation folders.

"Aw… but I don't like _tea…._"

"Richard…"

"_I know… I know…_"

Once the young man finally disappears upstairs, the superheroes finally get down to business.

"You know Metropolis, Star AND Gotham city's crime rate has been falling?" Clark starts and opens one of the folders in his arms and shows the contents to his friend, "See that? Drug trade's going up…"

"I noticed… "

"Lois sent me these a couple of weeks ago… I didn't think the two cases were related, but I'm starting to change my opinion…" Clark holds up a picture of the Red Hood and waves it a few times in the air, "Remind you of anyone?"

"Yeah… but he doesn't deal in drugs…" Bruce frowns and finally takes off his mask and takes the photo from Clark, "well it's a start…"

"I'm not sure if this is good news or not… crime rate down is always a good thing…" Clark starts and hands over the next couple of folders, "But disappearing crime bosses are almost always a bad sign."

"Hmmm…" Bruce nods and arranges the folders on his desk, "I'll have to take a look at them after I check on Richard."

"Are you going to take him to a doctor?"

"Alfred's better than any doctor I've ever met… and he never asks questions," Bruce grinned and they headed upstairs, "You know, you could've just emailed the information to me…"

"I also heard about Robin… "

"How-"

"Lois also sent me these," Superman retrieves a couple of photos from his sleeve and holds it out towards the Dark Knight, "It wouldn't look good to have these on the front page of every newspaper in the Eastern County."

"I guess you're keeping tabs on all the superhero publications, huh?" Batman chuckles and directs his friend towards the kitchen, "Thanks…"

"All part of the perks of being a reporter...wh-Wait… what did you just say?" Clark grins openly when Bruce decidedly ignores him. He heads over the fridge, "Hey, mind if I -"

"Hey… are we getting ready for a mission?" it's Robin again, poking his head out from open refrigerator door.

"Not yet," Clark smiles when he spots Alfred coming down the stairs, "Hi, Alfred!"

"Good to see you again, Master Kent…," Alfred says with a smile and enters the kitchen carrying a tea tray, he stops at the fridge for a second to glare at the young man before continuing to the sink, "Richard insisted on having a _drink_ before bedtime…"

"Oh…." Richard paused in taking a drink straight from the milk carton before remembering to use a glass. He stares at the carton for a few seconds, deciding whether or not to continue just as he was or to walk way wayyyy over to the other side of the ginormous kitchen to get a glass. He decided against it, because doing THAT will have him pass by Alfred –who was pretty scary at the moment… so, another quick swig from the carton and he stashes away the milk and shuts the cupboard door as he walks out, "Uhh… you'll call me, if something happens, right?"

"Night, Richard…" Bruce calls and sighs heavily once the boy was out of earshot.

"He's really sick, Bat… I mean… _he looks terrible!_" Clark says, his face twisted in concern.

And, Bruce being Batman, he couldn't just answer plainly, he just HAD to ask the sarcastic edge to compliment the worried frown on his face, "Nnnoooo, because _healthy _people keep milk in the cupboard and not in the fridge."

At least this time Clark Kent _did _catch the sarcasm.

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**_LOL, pardon the completely lame title, I seriously couldn't think of one xDD_**

**_Thanks for reading! And please drop me a pm or a review, I'd really appreciate some feedback ;)_**


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